Christian Music--Changing Opinions (Also, 4th of July!)

So, this was the first fourth of July that I was neither out of the country, traveling with Patriots, or with my family. So, I guess, it was kind of my first fourth of July "on my own." It was pretty great. I went over to Taryne's for hot dogs, then we went to Jazz festival and fireworks. Jazz festival was really great; if I weren't so tired, I would totally go back today. We listened to a Latin band and a band from New Orleans, then we ate Jamaican food before camping out for fireworks. They had blocked off three blocks over by the pentacrest, and there were tons of venders selling food and stuff. Very great. Plus, Katie met us there, and Taryne's friend A.C. And there was a group of RUF people there, so I spent a little time hanging out and talking to Tiffany.

Today, I'm totally wiped out, so I'm spending the day laying on my couch, watching Angel. (I'm netflixing season 2 finally! Part of my quest to see every episode of every Joss Whedon show-hehe.) I was going to go to Grace this morning for church because I knew I couldn't handle afternoon church at OAH, but mapquest gave me bad directions and first I ended up on a country highway driving through cornfields and then stuck at the end of a gravel road, slightly freaked out because some older guy and teenager were just standing next to their car out there. Turns out, they were shooting off homemade fireworks (no, still didn't feel too much better about driving my car down that road). So instead I listened to Pastor Piper online and prayed.

Also, I've discovered I actually like some Superchick songs. By accident, of course. I heard them and thought, "Wow, I like this song," and then was surprised to find out that it was Superchick. But I really like "Stand in the Rain", especially the first verse:


She never slows down
She doesn't know why but
she knows that when
She's all alone feels
Like it's all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries
That first tear
The tears will not stop
Raining down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fears whispering
If she stands, she'll fall down
She wants to be found but
The only way out is through
everything she's running from
Wants to give up and lie down

And I also really like the chorus of "Courage." Even though I prefer subtler lyrics than the verses have (I don't know the first day I felt unbeautiful/the day I chose not to eat), I do like that they're writing songs about stuff like anorexia, and I guess when you're trying to encourage people who are struggling, it's better to say the truth blatantly than in such a way that the young girls you're trying to reach won't know what you're saying. But, anyway, I really like the honesty of the chorus:

I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be okay
Together we can make it through another day

I'm rediscovering Christian music. I think that when I was in high school, I was largely in an "Only Christian music ever!" part of life, and then when I went to college, I realized that music by non-Christian artist could also glorify Jesus, and I also got frustrated by the fact that Christian artists often aren't great . . . artists. Great Christians, not always great lyricists or musicians. Over the past year, though, I've discovered that there are some great artist out there. I've also discovered that if I can let down my pride enough to overlook one or two awkward lines or cliche chords, there's a lot out there that can be spiritually encouraging to me.

Something I Wrote on Mother's Day

I love my mom. She's one of my favorite people in the whole, wide world. I love our "Mommy/Neenie adventures" which usually consist of trying new ethnic restaurants or cool artsy, cultural things; I love that I can call her when I'm having a hard day and ask for an "over the phone hug" (something which originated somewhere between the tornado and living all alone in a little city in Iowa-hehe); and I love that she and my dad come down to visit me in Iowa every few months.

I love that she raised James and I to love reading and learning, and that our family was the one that my friends made jokes about because when we had them over for dinner in middle school, we were discussing the scientific reason for green lettuce. I love that she told me that "friends come and go, but you'll always have your little brother," and raised James and I in a family where it was normal for family members to be such close friends. Most of all, though, I love that she and my dad raised us to love Jesus and want to glorify him in every part of our lives, and that they show us the love, mercy, and sacrifice of Christ in their own lives.

Yep, my mom is pretty amazing And writing about her was fun; you'll have to tune in in June to hear all about the wonderfullness that is my dad-hehe.

. . . et j'adore la musique . . .

So, lately I've had to "cool down" before going to bed, which usually means spending half an hour wasting time on the computer or watching TV, etc. before I can actually hope to sleep if I went to bed. And since I just got back a little while ago, I decided to wind down by blogging.

I went to the Cedar Rapids symphony tonight. I carpooled with a guy named Andrew who didn't have a ride, and it was fun to get to meet someone new from my department. The symphony did two more recent Czech pieces and Dvorak's ninth symphony. And they were really good! I assumed that they'd be decent because of all the different schools around with big music programs (hence, faculty), but I was still impressed. Not the Minnesota Orchestra, but definitely at a professional level I only thought was found in big cities.

Anyway, I have a habit of closing my eyes at times throughout concerts. It started when I was really young and made up stories to go with the music, and then it became a "I don't want to be distracted" thing . . . though I admit, I still sometimes ignore any music history I know and make up stories to go along with the music. And I love (!) Dvorak's ninth. I know that it's on everyone's "top 10" list, but I guess there's a reason for that-haha.

On the way back, Andrew got a text from a guy that had been in one of my classes last semester and was invited to a bonfire. I offered to take him there and just got out of the car to say hello to Paul. Turned out, I knew almost everyone who was there, even though they were all second and third year students. So, I ended up staying twenty minutes and talking. It was fun. However, the cool spring air and my cold didn't get along too well, and I came home to curl up in a blanket and drink warm lemon-flavored tea.

It was a good evening. I love music. So much. I really miss that part of my life. Hopefully this summer, I'll get a "practice mute" for my horn so that I don't have to leave the apartment to practice :-)

Yesterday was my physical therapy appointment, which meant all kinds of stretching and stuff for 45 minutes, so it shouldn't surprise me that I'm kinda worn out today. Thankfully, it's Friday, so it was okay that I stayed in bed until 10:00. When I finally came into my living room and opened the blinds, I saw all kinds of greenness on the trees outside my window! I can hardly see the Mennonite church on the other side of the railway tracks! Spring is here :smiley:

The high today is in the eighties (!!!), but then it's suppose to be rainy for the next three days. So I think that even though my body is a little beat, I'm going to try to get out and get a little sunshine. I'll at least go to the old capitol mall for lunch with Tiffany and then maybe I'll sit outside for just a little bit and read.

On a more serious, spiritual note, God's been teaching me a lot about trust lately, and it's not always been easy for me to learn. I always say that I trust God to do what's best in my life, but I get hurt and confused and upset when hard stuff happens. Most of my life, I've never really felt angry at God on a cognitive level, but emotionally, I know I sometimes felt that way after a few months of dealing with the tornado and with my health issues. And I know that it meant that I wasn't entirely trusting God. Yet, maybe, through those situations, God was helping me see that that kind of emotions isn't right or useful so that I trust him more in the future? I hope :-)

Since I've Been Gone . . .

So, I know that my blog has been suffering lately from lack of posting, but life's been a little crazy. Crazy in a good way, but still busy enough to prevent me from blogging.

Last Wednesday, after French class, I got on a plane and went to Pittsburgh for the 70th CEA (College English Association) conference. I presented a paper entitled, "Home and Country: The Trauma of World War I, British Identity, and the English Home." My presentation was on Thursday. It went really well, I didn't make any horrible reading mistakes, and I was able to field the questions well. Beside my own paper, I went to hear papers read in five other session over the weekend and felt that I learned a lot about the professional academic conference experience.

I stayed with Shari for the week, and it was wonderful! I think we figured out that we hadn't spent so much time together since we were both at Union. We celebrated Christmas on Thursday night, complete with red applesauce, green potatoes, green beans, and red meatloaf. We also watched Christmas episodes of TV shows and listened to Christmas music. Friday night was our second annual dress-up-pretty and go out for dinner birthday night. Last year, we went to the historic part of Downtown Memphis, and this time, we went to La Mont, a really nice restaurant on Mt. Washington. Our table was next to a large window, and we had an amazing view of the city while we ate.

Saturday, we hung around Shari's house, eating pizza, watching TV, and taking a short walk. That night, we went line dancing with a bunch of Shari, Jess, and Crystal's friends. I was really worried I wouldn't be able to handle dancing physically since I'm still so fatigued, but because we did so much rest earlier in the day, I was able to really enjoy it. Sunday was church, lunch with Shari's family, and Sunday night church at Southside. I gave her my present to her that night. On Monday, we watched EMMA! Emma is probably my all-time favorite movie, and Shari's never seen it. So, we finally watched it, after three years anticipation. I hadn't seen it for at least two years, and I cried a lot. It's so sweet! I want a Mr. Knightly. Shari drove me to the airport, and I opened my present, which included all sorts of stuff she got for me in New York-including a Gucci bag! I'm pretty much in love with it. It's bronze with a sparkly buckle, and I wish I could carry it around with me everywhere!

So, this has gotten freakishly long, and all I've done is shortly summarize my past week. I will go now, and return at a time when I have interesting, non-summary kind of things to say.

Good Feelings

I think that if I made a list of my ten favorite feelings ever, one of them might be: the feeling you get when weeks and months of research and writing culminate in a single, finished paper.

Yay! I'm all ready for Pittsburgh now :-)

Rambles

I'm starting to form my summer reading list. Thus far, I want to read Passage to India, Heart of Darkness, Cold Comfort Farm, Orlando, and The Stranger (in French!!! I've already read it in English). Of course, I'm also going to be taking French, a graduate workshop, and possibly a class on post-colonialism. So, we'll see how far I get.

This weekend was fun and productive. I did some research in the library for India class and read a chapter for V&L Woolf class, but I also had social time. I went to Red Robin and then dancing on Friday night, which was really, really fun. Then, last night, I went to Natche Raho, the Indian Student Association's giant Indian dance competition. It was catered from Taj Mahal (possibly the only Indian Restaurant in town I've never been to-hehe), and the dancers were really impressive. A few groups did this thing where the guys supported the girls' stomach's and the girl's legs flew up in the air and they spun around and . . . it was really cool.

I miss Northbrook. I love the people and the mission and all that with One Ancient Hope, but I really miss Northbrook, too. I really felt like I belonged there, and my SaLT group really did care about and for me, and I miss Pflasterers, too, even though they're not at Northbrook anymore :-(. I had really wanted to visit them over spring break, but I've got SO much to study that it really didn't seem like a good idea. So, I'm hoping to see them in June or late May when I go down for Amber's wedding.

I'm going to Pittsburgh in 17 days! I'm so excited for my first professional conference! I still need to majorly revise my paper and do some further research, but it'll still be lots of fun. I love wearing suits and standing and talking in front of people and defending what I think! Hehe-I'm such a nerd! And I get to see Shari, which will be really great, too.

Well, I've rambled enough. I'm off to get ready for church!