Thursday Stuff

My last week has been a little crazy. It started off with a whole "recovering from the flu" frenzy of trying to get stuff done, and then I had a (very) minor "What am I doing with my life!" wish-I-were-overseas crisis. Also, I have a couple of friends who have some tough stuff going on in their lives, and it's hard to watch them hurting and know that all I can do is pray and leave it in God's hands.

Today was both one of the worst and best days of the week for me. I went to the internist (the appointment I set up in November finally came!) thinking that I'd just get a referral to yet another specialist who would either take forever to give me a diagnosis or say they had no idea. I've kinda gotten use to that routine. However, I was praying that God would just give me an answer today, and he did. After talking with me, the resident I've been seeing went to consult with the supervising doctor who came back and said, "Well, all your symptoms match chronic fatigue syndrome," and gave me some suggestions for how I can adjust my life in order to have some more energy. I did some research when I got home, and it turns out, reading the symptom list for CFIDS sounds a little like reading the story of my life (for the past six years). Also, while I'm always going to have to be really careful about reducing stress, getting lots of rest, and keeping my exercise to a moderate level (no more marathon plans ), doing those things should help me feel a little bit better. I have to admit, my feelings have been a mixture of "yay diagnosis!" and "I'm likely going to live with this for the rest of my life." I'm really not looking forward to the possibility of a lifetime of episodes like the ones I've been having for the past few years, but I am really happy to have a name to give to them. Also, I'm trying to look at this as an opportunity to trust God with what he's doing with my health. My body is his temple, a gift given to me so that I may worship him with it, and he knows best how I should use it to bring him glory.

The doctor visit was one of the low points of my day. However, this afternoon, something amazingly happy happened. I've been going through all sorts of tough decisions about whether to stay in my apartment next year or not, whether to get a roommate or not, etc., and today, after a phone conversation with my landlord, I figured out that I don't have to move next year!! I'm so happy I don't like moving at all, and I really do love my apartment, weird pipe noises, train outside, and stinky parking lot included. It's so cute, and I've worked so hard to make it nice, it would have been sad to have to move after just one year. And, now, I don't have to. Also, I was worried that the person I had talked to about living together would be left alone, but it turns out that she just found out that she can live with some girls from her rowing team!